1
Jul
2024

The day I turned 15 I handed in the application to change my surname to include my mother’s maiden name. I had been thinking about changing my name for around a year and half and by the time I applied my mum had sole custody of me so I wasn’t required to get permission from my dad. In that regard I was lucky as it saved me plenty of grief. So much had happened in the year previous to my name change that I honestly didn’t care by the time I changed it but at the end of the day….IT WAS MY DECISION.

To the parents,

They might be your child but you don’t get to decide when/what or if they change their surname it is the CHILD’S DECISION. Your kid may say that they don’t care but that doesn’t give you permission to change it. NOTE THAT AS A TEENAGER “I DON’T CARE” IS ONE OF OUR CATCH PHRASES. Don’t take it as the truth.

Your last name isn’t what defines you or your child so parents if you really dislike your ex partners so much that you can’t stand your child having their surname ….GROW UP. News flash the world doesn’t revolve around you.

Look I am trying to save you future pain here because at the end of the day if you go and change your kids name no matter if they say they “don’t care” you are putting yourself at risk of being blamed in the future, even if you thought you were doing the right thing. ALWAYS BE TEN STEPS AHEAD!

Also your kids rely on you so it is no surprise that a lot of kids change their name due to pressure put on by either/or parents or this OVERWHELMING desire to please YOU, parents.

Let’s be real for a sec, you guys (parents) kinda suck during this time of divorce. It is kind of like you lose any rationality. Look I know a divorce is not easy but you guys tend to get wrapped up in your own hatred, jealousy, sadness, etc. that you don’t really take into consideration that you are putting pressure on your kids to GROW UP, additionally pressuring them to fill the emotional role that your partner once did.

MAY I MAKE IT CLEAR: We are not responsible for your happiness, we did not cause your divorce and we certainly should not be treated as the enemy just because we share blood/relationship with your ex.

Whether you like it or not your kids don’t owe you their last name. It is not something you can take for yourself. No matter that you care and provide for them THIS IS NOT YOUR DECISION. So by NO means do you get to make your child feel bad for not changing their name and you do not get the right to force them to change their name.

PARENTS LET IT GO, IT IS NOT THAT DEEP IT IS A SURNAME, SO IF YOU ARE REALLY GETTING UPSET ABOUT IT YOU NEED TO REFLECT UPON YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING IMMATURE.

NOTE TO THE KIDS:

Changing your surname isn’t just a small thing although it doesn’t define you, it is still a part of your identity so KIDS really think about it before you make the decision. JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS THINK THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU…..in regards to your last name it is not about what they think, it is about you.

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